No, no, no. I haven't been secretly engaged this whole time - I am still happily single.
But I have a message for all the brides that were supposed to be getting married and now can't...
I am truly sorry.
My precious mama, Jane is one of those brides and today was supposed to be her wedding day.
She met her fiance Scott, a golf-obsessed school teacher with a heart of gold, on Bumble.
That's right, my mother found love on Bumble before I have.
They were counting down the days with excitement until two weeks ago. Then they started counting down in fear. Could they make it to the alter before the Coronavirus swept our nation?
Every day there were more developments in the news. Once it impacted Pennsylvania our hearts sank.
They didn't want to cancel, they'd hold out as long as they could.
As the days went on and the virus spread, more heartbreaking adjustments had to be made.
My grandparents could no longer attend, it would be too risky. Scott's mother could also no longer make the trip.
Then the PA Governor issued a warning for our county, which had become the epicenter of the virus in our state. He suggested that non-essential businesses should consider closing. With that came the closing of the salon where she was scheduled to have her hair colored and styled for the big day.
"You don't need your hair done", said Scott. "You already look perfect." My mom gave him a smile but I saw the sadness in her eyes. She wanted to feel beautiful on her wedding day.
I went with her to her final dress fitting, where I grilled the sweet seamstress over whether they would close due to the lockdown. It's one thing to forgo a professional blowout, it's another to consider getting married without your gown. My mama drew the line there.
The woman assured us they'd get her the dress no matter what. But as I stared at my mom's reflection in the bridal shop's three way mirror, admiring how perfect she looked at every angle, I had this aching suspicion she wouldn't be wearing that dress today.
When we got back to her place I gently told her that things were going to get worse. The guest list would shrink. There was a chance the venue would be forced to close.
My god, it wasn't even my wedding but the anxiety of not knowing what new horror every day could bring was too much to handle.
"If you get married with 5 people, with me doing your hair & makeup and a friend making your cake, it will still be amazing. But I know that's not what you want." I said to her. There was too much time, money and energy put into those little details to not see them come to life.
The bigger issue was that the two of them couldn't bear the thought of someone getting sick because they came. It was then they knew they had to postpone the wedding.
The next day that's what they did. They selflessly put the health of their loved ones above their dreams for their big day. Through tears they sent a message to all of their guests letting them know. They felt a sense of relief once the decision was made but as their would-be wedding date crept closer there was still a sadness that lingered.
And now here we are. The wedding day.
Instead of cheerily sipping champagne as my mom, sisters and I get glammed for the ceremony, we are all quarantined in our individual homes.
But Jane and Scott have decided to honor this day, in their own perfect way. *This is where you should grab a tissue because this is cute AF...
Tonight they will get ready in separate bedrooms. Scott will wear an old suit and my mom will change into a cocktail dress. She will walk down the stairs where he will be waiting in front of their fireplace, under the glow of a stream of candles on the mantel.
They will exchange rings and their own personal vows.
Then they will have a beautiful dinner, enjoy a mini grocery store cake and sip on the champagne they got as an early wedding gift from Scott's colleagues.
They won't be legally wed, but they will be in their hearts and today's date can still always hold special meaning to them.
Their rescheduled wedding will come, at some point - Once the dust from the pandemic settles and normal life eventually resumes. But for now, today, this is perfect.
So to every bride out there, especially those who are marrying for the first time, my heart goes out to you. Let Jane & Scott's celebration today be a reminder that the most important element to any wedding isn't the cake, it isn't the flowers, guests or fancy hairstyle... it's your love. And that's one thing this effing pandemic can't steal from anyone.
XX
A.
UPDATE!!!
I snuck over just long enough to capture a few photos of their first look. I left them to cry like babies as they exchange vows because I know that's what they'll do.
CHEERS TO THE HAPPY COUPLE!
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